


Red

by Alcine



Category: Code Geass
Genre: AU movies era, Angst, Gen, Mentions of Suicide, Sad, spoilers for the movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 07:19:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18331277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alcine/pseuds/Alcine
Summary: (SPOILERS for Re;surrection)Lelouch comes back, sometimes.





	Red

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: this is kinda sorta sad (but...!). 
> 
> Takes place after the ending of the Re;surrection movie. 
> 
> Also I might be taking a few liberties with things, probably with Lelouch's Geass too, but who really cares, and this wouldn't leave me alone anyway.

RED

 

Lelouch comes back, sometimes. Not often, and never for long, because there are things that he ought to be doing, and because he has convinced himself that it's for the best. That this is what Nunnally and Suzaku need; to move on from him.

He has to make sure the world is free of any threat to them, and he cannot risk endangering their safety by being found alive and in their company.

So he leaves, everytime, and tries to pretend that Nunnally's tears and Suzaku's odd acceptance don't hurt.

And a few years of this pass.

Nunnally grows up, and Suzaku is...Suzaku is _Zero_.

They talk, still, on Lelouch's rare visits. But the more time passes, the less Lelouch can find his oldest friend in the progressively paler face that looks back at him.

Zero is all Suzaku seems to be after a while, not that Lelouch has any right to complain.

But he worries, always. So when Nunnally, her bright eyes shining with tears, tells him that Zero no longer takes the mask off when he's alone with her, there is more pain in his heart than he's allowed to feel.

Suzaku doesn't take the mask off for him anymore either; hasn't for a while now. Zero is always busy, and Lelouch's visits are few and far between, not to mention unannounced. Zero doesn't always have time to spare for the man who created him and will always be gone by morning.

But Nunnally is another matter. Nunnally is _always_ with Zero, every day, and she is supposed to find comfort in Suzaku's presence, while Suzaku finds purpose in keeping her safe and happy.

This plan is apparently failing, and it worries him.

So Lelouch starts going back to them more, to observe and investigate so he can fix this. C.C doesn't seem to mind. She always seems to know more than he does anyway, although she won't tell him what exactly. So she bears with him, and uses the time to catch up with Kallen.

Zero asks, after a while, why Lelouch is suddenly around so much, but there is only vague curiosity in his deformed voice and none of the relief Lelouch was selfishly hoping to find. He keeps the mask on.

They talk more; but Zero is never the one to initiate conversation, and always the first to end it. His voice sounds all wrong now, even through the mask. It's nothing like _Suzaku's_ anymore, it's missing all the emotions, all the pain, all the hope that used to torment him. Even the way he moves is wrong. Everything about him is now _wrong_.

Lelouch asks. But there is nothing wrong, Zero says.

One evening, Lelouch finds Suzaku, _unmasked_ , in the secured area he shares with Nunnally as he's fetching himself a glass of water. The kitchen is dark enough that Lelouch can barely distinguish Suzaku's features as he enters the room and greets him, hopeful, but the other man sees him coming from afar and grabs the Zero mask off the table before Lelouch can walk more than a few steps towards him.

There is a brief flash of _something_ as Suzaku goes to put the dreaded mask back on, and Lelouch is suddenly faster than he's ever been as he _runs_ to him and tears it from Suzaku's cold hands.

Because there is no reason for Suzaku's eyes to be rimmed with _red_. Not here, at night, safe in a kitchen. There is no reason for Lelouch's old command to be taking over _now_ of all times.

No reason.

Unless Suzaku's desire to die has become so strong that even now, safe in a fucking kitchen, Lelouch's old demand needs to remind him not to take his own life.

Lelouch grabs Suzaku's shoulders and stares, horror-stricken, into his oldest friend's eyes. Suzaku doesn't move, but he doesn't try to flee, and Lelouch desperately tries to find some hope in that.

How long? How long has the Geass been active? How long has Suzaku been longing for death so much that the command started taking over even when his life wasn't being directly threatened ?

Too long, _way_ too long, Suzaku's dead eyes are telling him. Lelouch remembers Suzaku's odd behaviour and his own, strong sense of _wrong_ , and knows that the explanation to everything is here before him, like a parasite in his best friend's beautiful green eyes.

Does it even go away?

They stand in the dark, lost, until Lelouch suddenly hugs Suzaku and swears, swears on _everything_ , that he won't let go until Suzaku comes back to him.

Tears fall, and Lelouch doesn't look up for fear that they are his own only.

This time, he doesn't leave come morning.

**Author's Note:**

> (and then Suzaku comes back and they live happily ever after)


End file.
